The random thoughts of a stay-at-home dad and freelance writer. Not edited for grammar, style, taste or intelligence.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Child abuse
OK, that isn't beer, it's root beer. And the bottle was empty and Cindy was messing around. So don't turn us into DHS.
If she did get some of the root beer can you imagine how gassy she would be?!
Cindy is insane sometimes. I guess these will be good for the divorce next week after I win the $175 million Powerball jackpot Saturday.
Pat
I'm starting to feel more and more like a dinosaur
Final Edition from Matthew Roberts on Vimeo.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Wurstfest fun
So I got to go to Wurstfest Saturday to do a freelance gig. Had some OK shots, but the Statesman sent out a "real" photographer. My photos didn't show up in print.
Covering festivals is fun and easy, but sometimes the coordinating between Silverton and Salem gets a little tricky. I am the one that ends up wasting my time. Oh well, I still had the story appear, so I guess it's OK.
Here is one of the shots I had. I might put more on Flickr, if anyone cares. :)
Busy week for both Cindy and I, so the blog is probably going to be kind of slow until this weekend. We are getting a plan of how to start fixing up the house to move. I think this weekend we might start taking down cabinet doors and sanding them.
With the kids it's like planning a army invasion. I think I will do the sanding work, and Cindy will watch the kids. I get them most of the week normally (not this week), so it will give her a chance to mess around with them.
Well, I am off to a meeting and drop Violet off to school. Jen is here today babysitting and without her and our parents I wouldn't be able to work... so I am so thankful!!!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Wiener-fest!
Today I am covering the Mt. Angel Wurstfest (Sausage Festival) and was charging batteries and whatnot to make sure everything was ready to go. I am shooting it for the Statesman Journal, and writing a story for the Silverton Appeal. I may, if I have extras send one over to the Woodburn Independent (they are in the same company I work for part-time).
As I was making sure things were ready I snapped a few shots of the kids. They are up on Flickr (the slideshow in the upper left).
One of my articles made an Oregonian blog (too bad the blogger,Kimberly Jacobsen Nelson, plagiarized my boss's editorial).
Friday, February 20, 2009
I saw this and had to share
Thursday, February 12, 2009
SMOOCHES!!!
I love it when this happens.
When you least expect it, usually after a hard day at work, or one of those days you have a constant storm cloud over your head, the kids just make your mood change on a dime.
I have a headcold, I can't find my dang keys and Violet has been a little bratty lately. It doesn't feel like we have enough time for anything, and with the economy the way it is, I keep waiting for a shoe to drop on either my job at the Wilsonville Spokesman or Cindy's at Intel. Right now there is nothing to indicate that either of our jobs are in danger, but you just feel that way when the layoff notices keep coming and coming.
I had to cut my day short because Cindy had a meeting and we wanted Violet to get a nap -- since there is a cold in our house. I had breakfast but had skipped lunch. I was writing this story and really wanted to get it done, I looked up and it was too late to grab something on the way to get Violet.
I walk in the door and Cindy's cousin Lisa is here babysitting (she is GREAT by the way), and I take Lilly. Immediately she starts kissing my cheek. The first time ever.
MMMMMAAA! MMMMMAAAA!
Very stinking cute. I have been walking on clouds since.
Now when you say, "Lilly, give Violet a kiss." She will walk over there and try to kiss her cheek.
It was a good day.
Pat
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Valentine production line
Violet is in two preschool classes, since her birthday is two days after the cutoff. So, while some kids go to preschool two days a week, Violet goes threes. Twice a week to the twos and threes (the class she is supposed to be in) and one day in the fours preschool. We thought it would be better to give her some extra class time because we want her to be smart like her mother, and not a slacker like her pa.
Anyway, this means that we get twice the activities that other parents do. Take Valentine's Day for example. We have two classes to do valentines for. Not a big deal, but during those times we set up a production line, with Violet writing her name (yes, she can write her name by herself!) and Cindy stuffing and me taping and putting stickers on the outside of the valentines.
While we were doing our little sweatshop in the name of love, I continued to notice that the new Disney princesses are "hoochie mamas" and the old school princesses are more classy and covered up. Just five years ago I would have been all about the Jasmine, but as a father, I like Snow White more and more. Don't get me started on the new Tinkerbell stuff...
Tonight as we were separating girls from boys in her class (girls got Tinkerbell, boys got Cars valentines) Violet said, "I like boys."
Oh NO!
So it begins...
Know where I can get a shotgun cheap. I saw on "Burn Notice" they make slugs with water that are non-lethal. That's good for a starter....
Pat (sneeze)
Still haven't found my dang keys. Any ideas?
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Keys
Hey, anybody seen my keys?
Lost em sometime during the last week.
Hmmm.
The search continues.
Oh, here is Lilly this afternoon.
Pat
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Here is Lilly tonight using her battering ram to take out any tables, chairs, 4-year-olds or ankles she can catch off guard. I swear she could break through the gates of a Scottish castle with that little walker thing. She is a lot like her mom.
This morning I was woken by the running of a baby elephant through our house -- Violet sounds like Godzilla when she runs from one end of the house to the other, looking for us in the morning. Luckily, Lilly stayed in bed until 9:30 a.m. this morning, thank goodness.
Cindy got a pretty good nap today, along with Violet, while Lilly and I wrestled while I tried to get her to sleep. She just wiggles and wiggles.
OK, so for the last couple of years my friends have been telling me to get a Facebook account. Every now and then I will be talking to someone and they will ask if I am on Facebook. Last week one of my former bosses said I should get one, and I figured if nothing else it would be a good networking exercise. I even downloaded the Facebook app for my phone, just to play along.
The thing is crazy. Classmates from high school are "finding me." It's really weird. I started getting messages that say: "We have been looking for you so long!"
Um, I am like 700 pounds, you could spot me from space with the naked eye for God sakes. I live in Canby which is a whopping 20 miles from Newberg where I grew up. I know Johnson is a common name, but my name has been in numerous papers around the Valley and I am even in the phone book. How, exactly, did I get lost? :)
Now I feel like a ninja. I am stealthy. I can erase my Facebook page and stop existing. Awesome. With just a click of the mouse I can totally disappear.
Oh and I found this tonight and find it incredibly funny. Wait until the end, it's worth it.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Cardiac Arrest
First off, for the family, here is Kyla and Violet dancing tonight. Kyla is Violet's second cousin twice removed from her Grandfather's family. They tell me they are related, but I don't believe it.
Lisa, Cindy's cousin, has been helping us watch the girls on Thursday since the Marshes are out of state playing retired people. I still don't know where the Marshes are, or when they are coming back, if ever.
Since Jan. 1 I have been trying to cut out the junk out of my diet. Yes, I still eat out on days I work, but I am cutting everything I eat in half. So if before I got the large extra-super-duper-awesome-really huge-excellent value meal, now I just get the small one. Also I haven't had a real Coke, or caffeine. I also have cut out the sweets. I had some pudding the other day when I made it for Lilly, but otherwise I have been pretty good. Oh, and 1 slice of cheesecake last week when CINDY brought it home.
I haven't been punched in the face yet -- see last month's video.
Today I had a coupon for Quiznos. So my boss and I went over there and got a couple of sandwiches. I saw this cookie, and I had to have it. I bought it. We get back to the office and BOOM, plane crash.
We narf our sandwiches and my boss and I head out to find the downed plane. My job was to shoot it, and she was going to write the article. After wandering the hills around Stafford and North Wilsonville, we find the plane in a field, with no one around it.
Channel 8 was still there, but the pilot walked away from the landing in a gully, the plane was in good condition. The engine blew and he glided it into a field that was a harvested Christmas Tree farm. I walk down to the plane, it was a pretty steep grade. I take my pictures and turn to walk back up to the road, and notice that it's steep.
My job lately has entailed me working the phones and sitting in public meetings on my butt. I have been doing nothing on my elliptical since I quit Coke, mostly due to headaches in the evening.
I get about 25 percent up the hill, and have to stop. My boss is still climbing. I can't be shown up by her! So I push and get another 20 or so feet, and have to stop. Pretend to take more pictures, that's it! I walk some more, snap away while trying to get the spots I am seeing to subside.
I get to the road and I am convinced I am in stage 4 cardiac arrest.
"Hey, they are interviewing those two guys up there," my boss said, pointing at the TV pukes interviewing two older gentlemen on their porch.
At this point, I wanted to set up a base camp, because the house she was pointing at was at the summit of Mount Everest. There I am, I have altitude sickness and need some serious oxygen.
"Have fun," I said.
"I want pictures of the witnesses," she said.
We starting our assent, I was fighting the urge to tie off a safety rope into the cracks of the driveway, and once again, I get about 25 feet and have to stop.
Now the TV guys are looking at me. I have to keep going. I get to the top of the driveway and I was dizzy. I couldn't breath, thank god for the rock wall I could grab and lean against.
"At least going down is going to be easier," my boss commented.
"Especially for me, since I am going to be in that gurney," I replied between my huge sucks of air.
We wait for the TV guys to get done asking the witnesses questions, and climb some stairs (we weren't done gaining altitude yet). The spots are back, and I am trying to take pictures and not look like I am a loser who can't even climb a steep hill.
The 84-year-old guy who lives there, has a golf cart he uses to go down and get the paper, I was considering jumping him and stealing it to get down to the van -- which was parked down the street at the mid-point of the North Face of K2.
We get done and start walking down the hill.
"If I fell down I would endup at the bottom of the gully, like a big bowling ball," I said.
"Nah, that concrete curb would stop you," my boss said.
"No way, I would bust through that, roll all the way down, go up the other side of the canyon a little and then roll to a stop at the bottom," I said.
We get to the van, and I am still out of breath. I put the camera gear away and realize that I could have left the 30 pounds of camera gear at our "base camp."
As we are driving back, I mention that if I get a bloody nose, I may be having an aneurism. I also mentioned that I am allergic to contrast dye for cat scanners -- in case I have a stroke.
I also found out on WebMD that if you have shooting pain in your left arm, you are having a heart attack.
Needless to say, Violet and Kyla got the cookie when I came home, and I need to start getting on the elliptical -- either that, or covering more plane crashes.
Sorry for the length.
Pat