I saw this and had to share

Be careful, at the end there is some "questionable" language. It was on late night TV, so it's not that bad.

SMOOCHES!!!

I love it when this happens.

When you least expect it, usually after a hard day at work, or one of those days you have a constant storm cloud over your head, the kids just make your mood change on a dime.

I have a headcold, I can't find my dang keys and Violet has been a little bratty lately. It doesn't feel like we have enough time for anything, and with the economy the way it is, I keep waiting for a shoe to drop on either my job at the Wilsonville Spokesman or Cindy's at Intel. Right now there is nothing to indicate that either of our jobs are in danger, but you just feel that way when the layoff notices keep coming and coming.

I had to cut my day short because Cindy had a meeting and we wanted Violet to get a nap -- since there is a cold in our house. I had breakfast but had skipped lunch. I was writing this story and really wanted to get it done, I looked up and it was too late to grab something on the way to get Violet.

I walk in the door and Cindy's cousin Lisa is here babysitting (she is GREAT by the way), and I take Lilly. Immediately she starts kissing my cheek. The first time ever.

MMMMMAAA! MMMMMAAAA!

Very stinking cute. I have been walking on clouds since.

Now when you say, "Lilly, give Violet a kiss." She will walk over there and try to kiss her cheek.

It was a good day.

Pat

Valentine production line

Violet is in two preschool classes, since her birthday is two days after the cutoff. So, while some kids go to preschool two days a week, Violet goes threes. Twice a week to the twos and threes (the class she is supposed to be in) and one day in the fours preschool. We thought it would be better to give her some extra class time because we want her to be smart like her mother, and not a slacker like her pa.

Anyway, this means that we get twice the activities that other parents do. Take Valentine's Day for example. We have two classes to do valentines for. Not a big deal, but during those times we set up a production line, with Violet writing her name (yes, she can write her name by herself!) and Cindy stuffing and me taping and putting stickers on the outside of the valentines.

While we were doing our little sweatshop in the name of love, I continued to notice that the new Disney princesses are "hoochie mamas" and the old school princesses are more classy and covered up. Just five years ago I would have been all about the Jasmine, but as a father, I like Snow White more and more. Don't get me started on the new Tinkerbell stuff...

Tonight as we were separating girls from boys in her class (girls got Tinkerbell, boys got Cars valentines) Violet said, "I like boys."

Oh NO!

So it begins...

Know where I can get a shotgun cheap. I saw on "Burn Notice" they make slugs with water that are non-lethal. That's good for a starter....

Pat (sneeze)

Still haven't found my dang keys. Any ideas?

Keys

Hey, anybody seen my keys?

Lost em sometime during the last week.

Hmmm.

The search continues.

Oh, here is Lilly this afternoon.

Pat

Facebook

Here is Lilly tonight using her battering ram to take out any tables, chairs, 4-year-olds or ankles she can catch off guard. I swear she could break through the gates of a Scottish castle with that little walker thing. She is a lot like her mom.

This morning I was woken by the running of a baby elephant through our house -- Violet sounds like Godzilla when she runs from one end of the house to the other, looking for us in the morning. Luckily, Lilly stayed in bed until 9:30 a.m. this morning, thank goodness.

Cindy got a pretty good nap today, along with Violet, while Lilly and I wrestled while I tried to get her to sleep. She just wiggles and wiggles.

OK, so for the last couple of years my friends have been telling me to get a Facebook account. Every now and then I will be talking to someone and they will ask if I am on Facebook. Last week one of my former bosses said I should get one, and I figured if nothing else it would be a good networking exercise. I even downloaded the Facebook app for my phone, just to play along.

The thing is crazy. Classmates from high school are "finding me." It's really weird. I started getting messages that say: "We have been looking for you so long!"

Um, I am like 700 pounds, you could spot me from space with the naked eye for God sakes. I live in Canby which is a whopping 20 miles from Newberg where I grew up. I know Johnson is a common name, but my name has been in numerous papers around the Valley and I am even in the phone book. How, exactly, did I get lost? :)

Now I feel like a ninja. I am stealthy. I can erase my Facebook page and stop existing. Awesome. With just a click of the mouse I can totally disappear.

Oh and I found this tonight and find it incredibly funny. Wait until the end, it's worth it.

Cardiac Arrest

First off, for the family, here is Kyla and Violet dancing tonight. Kyla is Violet's second cousin twice removed from her Grandfather's family. They tell me they are related, but I don't believe it.

Lisa, Cindy's cousin, has been helping us watch the girls on Thursday since the Marshes are out of state playing retired people. I still don't know where the Marshes are, or when they are coming back, if ever.

Since Jan. 1 I have been trying to cut out the junk out of my diet. Yes, I still eat out on days I work, but I am cutting everything I eat in half. So if before I got the large extra-super-duper-awesome-really huge-excellent value meal, now I just get the small one. Also I haven't had a real Coke, or caffeine. I also have cut out the sweets. I had some pudding the other day when I made it for Lilly, but otherwise I have been pretty good. Oh, and 1 slice of cheesecake last week when CINDY brought it home.

I haven't been punched in the face yet -- see last month's video.

Today I had a coupon for Quiznos. So my boss and I went over there and got a couple of sandwiches. I saw this cookie, and I had to have it. I bought it. We get back to the office and BOOM, plane crash.

We narf our sandwiches and my boss and I head out to find the downed plane. My job was to shoot it, and she was going to write the article. After wandering the hills around Stafford and North Wilsonville, we find the plane in a field, with no one around it.

Channel 8 was still there, but the pilot walked away from the landing in a gully, the plane was in good condition. The engine blew and he glided it into a field that was a harvested Christmas Tree farm. I walk down to the plane, it was a pretty steep grade. I take my pictures and turn to walk back up to the road, and notice that it's steep.

My job lately has entailed me working the phones and sitting in public meetings on my butt. I have been doing nothing on my elliptical since I quit Coke, mostly due to headaches in the evening.

I get about 25 percent up the hill, and have to stop. My boss is still climbing. I can't be shown up by her! So I push and get another 20 or so feet, and have to stop. Pretend to take more pictures, that's it! I walk some more, snap away while trying to get the spots I am seeing to subside.

I get to the road and I am convinced I am in stage 4 cardiac arrest.

"Hey, they are interviewing those two guys up there," my boss said, pointing at the TV pukes interviewing two older gentlemen on their porch.

At this point, I wanted to set up a base camp, because the house she was pointing at was at the summit of Mount Everest. There I am, I have altitude sickness and need some serious oxygen.

"Have fun," I said.
"I want pictures of the witnesses," she said.

We starting our assent, I was fighting the urge to tie off a safety rope into the cracks of the driveway, and once again, I get about 25 feet and have to stop.

Now the TV guys are looking at me. I have to keep going. I get to the top of the driveway and I was dizzy. I couldn't breath, thank god for the rock wall I could grab and lean against.

"At least going down is going to be easier," my boss commented.
"Especially for me, since I am going to be in that gurney," I replied between my huge sucks of air.

We wait for the TV guys to get done asking the witnesses questions, and climb some stairs (we weren't done gaining altitude yet). The spots are back, and I am trying to take pictures and not look like I am a loser who can't even climb a steep hill.

The 84-year-old guy who lives there, has a golf cart he uses to go down and get the paper, I was considering jumping him and stealing it to get down to the van -- which was parked down the street at the mid-point of the North Face of K2.

We get done and start walking down the hill.

"If I fell down I would endup at the bottom of the gully, like a big bowling ball," I said.
"Nah, that concrete curb would stop you," my boss said.
"No way, I would bust through that, roll all the way down, go up the other side of the canyon a little and then roll to a stop at the bottom," I said.

We get to the van, and I am still out of breath. I put the camera gear away and realize that I could have left the 30 pounds of camera gear at our "base camp."

As we are driving back, I mention that if I get a bloody nose, I may be having an aneurism. I also mentioned that I am allergic to contrast dye for cat scanners -- in case I have a stroke.

I also found out on WebMD that if you have shooting pain in your left arm, you are having a heart attack.

Needless to say, Violet and Kyla got the cookie when I came home, and I need to start getting on the elliptical -- either that, or covering more plane crashes.

Sorry for the length.

Pat

I can't stop watching!!!

Don't judge me.

We all have those little secrets. Those secrets that you fear if people knew, they would totally hate your guts. You know, like picking your feet, or singing in the shower old show tunes or sounding like a bullfrog when you sleep.

I am going to share mine, simply because I can't take it any more. I watch the new Knight Rider.

Don't judge me.

It just happened, really. I watched the movie last year, and it was so bad, that I couldn't believe they actually made a series out of it. Who makes the decisions at NBC?

This season, as the episodes started, I had to find out how on earth this pathetic show got greenlit and other good shows like "Journeyman" and "Firefly" were cancelled. So I started watching.

Now, 12 episodes in, I feel dirty. Don't judge me.

There are over-the-top product placements (every car is a Ford), each episode there is a reason to strip to your underwear or swim suit (EVERY episode? Really?) and Bob the Builder is a better actor than anyone on that show (Yes, the animated Bob the Builder).

It's like when you see a wreck on the side of the road and you HAVE to look. I am even TiVOing the darn thing! Don't judge me.

I watch it while Cindy works, and the girls are in bed, and at the end of each episode I really question my sanity. I could have gotten another hour of sleep, but no, I had to find out if someone at NBC woke up and the show got cancelled mid-episode. No luck yet.

As I sit here and write this, there is an fresh, new episode on my DVR. I am itching to see if this could be the end of what I call "The worst TV show ever created." (Yes, I did see Cop Rock, and yes, it's better than Knight Rider)

This week, KITT faced off with KARR. Here is the episode. But I warn you, once you start watching, you can't stop.

Don't judge me.

New Blackberry Flickr tool

You see the slideshow to the left? Well it's about to get more busy.

I found an application for my Blackberry where I can take a photo with my phone, and then upload it to Flickr, using my phone data connection.

It's pretty cool, so I will but uploading photos throughout the day when I am home with the kids and now pounding around Wilsonville. The photo quality isn't as good as my big camera (2 megapixels versus 10 megapixels), but I think it's good enough to see what we are doing.

I think I might even be able to take videos too, so I will be trying that out too.

Anyway, I was thinking about getting an iPhone, but with the new software for my blackberry I'm not sure I need one now. The big thing is getting a voice recorder program to work on my blackberry, as my current voice recorder is good, but it's showing it's wear and doesn't have a lot of memory.

My voice recorder software for my phone is about $20, and I am trying to freeware version now. A new voice recorder would run me about $100 to $150, so I could save some cash. Toward the end of the year if we need write-offs I may reassess what we are doing.

Dad's here, gotta run.

Pat

Safety Officer: The Office preview

I found this while surfing around this morning. My mom used to be a "safety officer" so I immediately started laughing. Plus I always enjoy English humor.



I also uploaded more Carousel pictures to Flickr, so they should be showing up in the slideshow.

pat

Adventure!

Lilly is getting in three upper teeth all that same time. It makes for one grumpy baby. This was Lilly tonight at the Salem Riverfront Carousel.

It seems like every weekend Jen comes over and we just sit around the house and do nothing. Tonight I decided we needed an adventure. Cindy, Jen and Lilly hadn't been to the carousel, so we buzzed down there and got a punch card and took a bunch of rides on the cool hand-carved horses.

This week Violet has NOMAD -- the dog from her class that goes home with different kids. I think last year I posted a video clip of Star Trek and the NOMAD probe, but not this year. You have to get a picture of NOMAD doing things with Violet and then write a story. What's better than a dog chasing horses in a circle to a pipe organ?

Violet likes a horse called "Little Joe" at the carousel. It's a baby horse (what do they call those?) and it doesn't move up or down. She usually rides that over and over watching all the other kids on the big horses that move. Last time we went I had her ride a big horse during our last ride -- she was shaking like a leaf. I felt bad about it, so we rode again on "Little Joe."

This time, she rode "Little Joe" once or twice and then I asked her if she wanted to do a big one with daddy. She agreed, so we strapped her on a big one, and off we went.

IMPORTANT CAROUSEL SAFETY TIP: If you are standing next to your daughter, who is going up and down on a horse, there are a couple of very important things you need to keep in mind. First, little kids have feet that sometimes stick out -- and catch you right in the... um... well... unmentionables. Secondly, and also important, don't look at the center of the carousel the whole time -- you get dizzy. By the time the darn thing stopped I was hunched over and staggering about.

Jen had her ride again on a big one, and of course that time she wasn't scared at all. The mighty power of Jen! She rode one last time with Mommy in one of the chuck wagons.

After that we were going to go to Olive Garden for dinner. We pulled up and there was a line out the door, it was cold, and Lilly was fussing. So we opted for Subway instead. Cheaper, faster, and hey, who doesn't like a dry bread sandwich on a Saturday night.

Of course now I crave pasta. Oh well. Today marks my 24th day without a Coke. I did have some Vanilla pudding today, but while the girls were narfing cookies at Subway I didn't have any. I am trying to be good. I have no idea if I am losing weight, but I do feel better.

Well, off to bed.

Pat